Put Me In Coach, I'm Ready

Single & ready to mingle?

Yeeeeup that’s me.

Now don’t get me wrong, there’s absolutely a ton of benefits to having a significant other in our life.

Someone that will stay up with you till 2am eating Ben & Jerrys or as I like to call them, The One-Sitters. Someone who is there to support you through the highs and lows. Someone who is down to stay in on Friday night and binge watch Netflix. Honestly that sounds like a pretty good deal to me, where do I sign up?

I can only speak from my bearded experience. I’ve been single now since I was a junior in high school. Yes that’s a longgggg time ago. I know I know. We’re talking nearly a decade!! Sheeeesh but like I said, I’m NOT against them, it’s just never really been the right time.

College years it went like this. Meet a nice gal. Have a fun “thing” for a couple weeks or months and then we split our ways. A mutual agreement or sometimes Bobbbaaaay getting left in the DUST! Ya hate to see it but it didn’t stop me.

Then after I graduated college I went head down for a couple years. Looking back it was probably pretty unhealthy to the extent to which I cut off any / all looooove relationships but I was focused on trying to figure out what I wanted to do with my life.

I was just getting started with finding my creative voice in the world. I was blasting Gary Vee through my headphones all hours of the day / night and I just kept my eyes on the prize. I was hustlin’ - legally.

I remember I went on a coffee date that first year out of college with EASILY one of the top five most beautiful gals I went to college with and I dropped the ball AFTER the coffee date by not following up. I promise you guys & gals I crushed the date to the point we lost track of time and were asked to leave because they were closing up shop. The bearded maaaan has a way with his words ladies & gentlemen!!

My biggest fear was getting pulled into something or someone that was going to distract me from focusing on my goals.

I’m someone that lives without regrets - truthfully. Not saying that to be cliche but in actuality I know I wouldn’t be where I am TODAY if I hadn’t done what I did and block out relationships for some time. As I’ve already said, I may have gone a weeee bit overboard but #NoRegrets.

I’m in a new phase of my life where I’m actually trying to put effort into the dating scene of LA. Ohhhh boy, what am I signing myself up for?

For sure not ideal timing with Covid and a world pandemic but that ain’t going to stop me from shooting my shot. Dating gaming Larry Bird baby.

If you listened to the most recent Episode of It’s The Bearded Man Podcast from this week, Mayhem in Massachusetts, you would know that the kid has a lil date coming up this weekend. Woooooowzer BOBBBBAAAAY! I would ask for your prayers but the deed is already done, the date will be a success I can feel it.

What I’ve learned over the last couple years is that happiness should never be derived from a single someone. We shouldn’t only be happy in the presence of a significant other. We should be happy with who we see in the mirror and that significant other should only be the cherry on top. A delightful added bonus but not necessary.

The problem I see from time to time is people chasing other people when they should instead chase the person they see in the mirror : themselves.

What do I mean?

I think we need to fall in love with ourselves before we fall in love with anyone else.

Man it really is SO important to have happiness within YOU! It scares me to see people that depend on a special SOMEONE to bring THEM happiness! No bueno.

What happens if that person leaves you? What happens if that person gains cold feet and no longer feels the same attraction? 

We can’t be vulnerable to the point that if someone leaves our life, our happiness leaves with them.

We need them to be that cherry on top, that extra lil bonus.

I’m not saying we aren’t allowed to be heartbroken. Shit I’ve been there and done that even when I wasn’t IN a relationship. The bearded maaaan has copped them feelings in the past, believe me - but I learned from it and grew from it. 

There was a time my senior year of college when I fell head over heels for this girl. Unfortunately it didn’t work out and I had to learn the hard way.

B-O-B sets up his feelings for the spike and BOOM they’re SLAMMED to the ground! It wasn’t intentional on her part, we were just both in different chapters of our life. That one little moment gave me the permission to just focus on myself because I realized I can’t control how people feel about me but what I can control is the amount of work I put into something.

Heartbroken + no clue what to do post college + college loans starting in t-minus 6 months + me living at home = time to get to WORK!

That’s what I did from June of 2016 straight through till October of 2019. Head down & focused.

I’m not a fan of Bumble. 

If Tinder fell off the planet tomorrow, I wouldn’t even flinch.

I probably should put more time into these dating apps but I get bored quuuuuuick. I’m waaaay too much of peoples person and want to naturally meet someone at a bar or a friends house. If that’s not it, then into the IG DM’s we go!

Either way this whole aspect of my life is a brand new work in progress.

I’m no dating expert but I’m ready to test the waters.

I’m in the best position I’ve ever been in my life.

Financial stability : Check.

Back in the content game : Check.

Focused on mental + physical health : Check.

Family / friend relationships : Check.

Love life : Work in progress.

If I’ve learned anything, timing is very important in life. I’m not here saying “world, please send me a girlfriend” hahaha that’s not the point of this BLOG!!! I promise.

It’s me telling the world I’m ready to put some time & energy into the possibility that there is someone out there possibly looking for me.

I won’t rush it & I won’t force it but I will be open to it.

This Sunday we kick off a new chapter for me.

Put me in coach, I’m ready.

The Bearded Man