Football Field Length Receipts

Ever shopped at CVS before?

Pretty hard not to when you can find one almost every couple of miles in any major city.

I’m a big fan because of it’s convenience. 99% of the time I’m ordering Amazon Prime right to my doorstep but there’s always that 1% occasion I need something right now. Not tomorrow, not the day after that… right now ladies & gentlemen. GIMME WHAT I NEED!

Tonight for example, I needed rubber gloves. Am I a big rubber gloves guy? 100% but in reality it’s so I can do my part and avoid Covid at all costs.

Germs? Get’em outta here! Ain’t nobody got time for that.

Glad American Airlines decided to go back to running their flights at full capacity last week amid a worldwide pandemic. Smart group of folks for suuure. What’s up with that? Not great timing for me seeing as I have red eye flight with them on Wednesday night back to the East coast. I’m sure we’ll cover that in a blog in a few days so prepare yaself. 

I’ll be handing out these thaaaangs like Oprah on that flight. You get a pair of gloves! And you get a pair of gloves! And WE ALL GET GLOVES! Wooohooooo.

You’re welcome, American.

Back to CVS, the real topic of discussion.

I’m curious as to what that conversation was like at high level with the executives when they decided to start printing out football field length receipts to everyone that shopped at their store.

“You know John, the best way to get people coming back is to provide them with a receipt that hangs out of their pocket and drags while they exit the store. It’s just gotta work! What an experience that would be!!”

And the votes are in… we the people disagree!

Seeing as I went in for a $12 purchase and came out with a 12 foot receipt, it doesn’t make too much sense to me. The math doesn’t add up & that says a lot coming from a guy who doesn’t love numbers!

I’m counting 10 discounts on this thing which I greatly appreciate but there’s a definite chance I will not use any of them. Why? Cause Amazon is the wave baby. Right to my door step? 2 day shipping? Say lesssss. I’m in there like swimwear, just tell me where to sign.

Maybe I just need to step up my CVS game and stroll through them aisles more often. I’d probably keep my crumbled up coupons in my wallet at all times in the SLIM CHANCE that I just so happen to stop in for some casual toothpaste and razor blades.

Ahaha - razor blades? Come onnnn…. I’m the Bearded Maaaan! I don’t need them!!!

These receipts just don’t seem to make sense. These guys are choppin’ down trees left & right all for what?

I know nobody at CVS HQ is asking for my $0.02 but hey… maybe make an app that keeps all my coupons in 1 location? If that’s the case, I’ll never have to worry about carrying them OR losing them AND we get to save millions of trees because it’s all on THE APP!

Now doesn’t that just sound wonderful. Love you technology. 

Seems much more effective & efficient but what do I know right?

That’s why I’m the guy strolling in there with flip flops, Nike gym shorts and t-shirt on this lovely Monday evening. I’m there to get the goods and boogie on outta there.

I’m not trying to stir up any beef with CVS cause I appreciate what they provide me when I need them the most BUT let’s think a little outside the box here why don’t we? It’s 2020 people, sheeeesh.

In all honesty it’s really crazy to think where the world is headed. I’d bet my last dollar that at some point in the not so far future, everything will be delivered to our doorstep. There’s no q’s about it. Printed receipts will all be a thing of the past as they’ll be sent right into our email inbox or delivered via text message.

Ahhh the convenience that will be.

Know what the best part about this blog was? That it was solely inspired by a receipt. A CVS receipt that is. #Inspo

That’s right, a piece of paper ladies & gentlemen. Is that sad or what? Slightly but hey it gave me something to talk about.

A blog post a day keeps the doctor away, right?

The Bearded Man

Robert Hobert